CuiousPages - fiction and nonfiction
CuriousPages - fiction and nonfiction
Throughout surgery on Monday, he recalled that new sense of legitimacy. He wished his patients away, wished his day to be over, and then, at the end, hurried, on foot, back towards the object of his illicit desire. And as he passed familiar faces in the street, he wondered if these were some of the people he was slowly poisoning, or were they perhaps relatives of his victims. All around him, the people seemed like ghosts in waiting, beclouded with the shadow of death, whose hand he had ushered their way.  And as he saw them, his guilt and turmoil resurfaced; those poor souls had appeared before him, wanting relief from pain or anguish and he betrayed their trust. He could have stopped sooner, when he began to suspect he was doing something wrong, but he was too weak to stop; he just continued doing the same, and now there was nothing left for him, no other option. He increased his pace towards the bridge.
As he walked onto the bridge on Monday evening, he stood by the wall surrounding the tower and watched the gorge below for a moment, as if transfixed, when he heard a voice from beside him:
“It’s a long way down.”
He looked up and saw a woman. She was vaguely familiar and seemed concerned, worried, as though she were sitting before him in his surgery, about to unburden herself.
“Yes, it is,” he replied.
“You look like a kind person,” she said, almost in a whisper. “Can I tell you something?”
To him, her face seemed to be wearing a particular shade of guilt and worry which reminded him of that look that was brought into his surgery more and more frequently over recent months by the steady stream of his victims who returned to confess they had stopped their “medication” and now felt so much better. They would sit there and apologize for deceiving him; they felt so guilty about it, him being such a kind doctor; and they could not live with themselves until they came clean; yes, looking at the guilt and worry in her face, he felt like waving her away and saying he already knew; there was no need to say anything.

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